Between 2012 – 2022, there has been a steady increase in youth aged 15 – 24 and adults being diagnosed with depression in Aotearoa New Zealand. In 2022/23, 565 individuals died by suicide. It’s time to share and to listen.
Outwardly, I’ve learned to mask it, and internalise my struggles and sadness. Inwardly, my mind can be a debilitating and traumatic place. My depression impacts me in a variety of ways. I require a lot more sleep than the recommended 7 hours per night to function, otherwise it feels like I have a perpetual hangover; paralysing anxiety and feelings of hopelessness are common; and I’ve declined many a social invitation, because the energetic cost of being in a room of people (known to me or not) is unsustainable.
I manage my depression by taking medication daily (for the past 12 years) and as of recently, attending therapy fortnightly, (of which I couldn’t afford without Work & Income’s assistance – a process where every four months I have to reapply for a ‘Disability Certificate – Counselling’ and prove I am still impacted by my disability). I consciously attempt to eat healthily; be active; and protect my energy, by spending time with people who see me, give me respect, and don’t exploit my empathic nature.
I’ve learned to mask my depression effectively, because society quickly tires of sad people. However, if your disability doesn’t manifest physically, you may be regarded as being unimpacted. It can be difficult to access resources, especially affordable, for depression, because depression temporarily afflicts most people throughout their lifetime, and they overcome it; therefore, so should you.
Throughout the entirety of my degree in zoology, I’ve worked (up to full-time) to keep afloat; and I’ve volunteered countless hours for ‘SEA SOCIETY’ and doing my radio show ‘Spinning Yarns With Sian’. However, many a day, I’ve not wanted to leave my bed, and suicide has not been a foreign consideration. But I force myself to be a part of the world that would otherwise continue to move forward and leave me behind.
If you, or anyone you know is experiencing depression, seek help by contacting mental health specialists and services. Seek solace in your friends, family, and activities you enjoy, or once did. As isolating as depression is, you are not alone.